The Diet

I have less than one week left before I start training season...and I am too fat.  How can I possibly compete with a winter's layer of extra warmth?  Could I be too heavy for my bike?  Will I cause massive injury to my knees?? OK...it is not like I gained 20 pounds or something.  There are no pictures of me with a turkey leg in one hand and a chunk of fruit cake in the other (however, this doesn't mean that these actions did not happen).  Yet, I still need to lose about five or so pounds before I hit the training season.  Time is tight.

There is a guy I work with who has shrunk down faster than when my wife shrank my wool sweater in the wash (yes...I still haven't forgotten, My Love, how a favorite sweater became a sweater that could fit Elmo).  Literally, I went on a business trip with him on a Monday and by Thursday of the same week he had gotten even thinner.  So, of course, I had to inquire about what he was doing.  He gave me the details of the special diet.  Truly, it sounded like a substantial pain in the ass.  As I think of myself as more of an artist than a scientist, I have combined the elements that I like from his approach with things of which I am not willing to part.

The parts I took from his diet plan:

1. Eat a lot of meat
2. Don't eat a lot of carbs

The parts I took from my personal sinful desires:

1. Eat less potatoes at dinner
2. Alcohol does not count as a major contributor to total carb counts
3. Continue to work out as much as possible to offset any parts of my diet that my cause contention with weight loss.

With this new diet in mind I submit to you my dinner last night:

Please notice that this is a Prime Aged Angus New York Strip steak.  I was told that this steak was 16 ounces before cooking.  It was encrusted with blue cheese...are there carbs in cheese?  I don't know and I don't care.  As I was too embarrassed to have a lone slab of meat on my plate for dinner, I asked for some asparagus.  Think of the asparagus like the plastic grass that comes with sushi.  It really has no value, but who wants to look at a blank plate of raw dead fish?  By adding plastic grass, the tender slices of fish seem more at home...like a final resting place of sorts. 

I am executing this diet for the week...and I have high hopes of losing the five pounds needed.  I think I am off to a good start.  Given the three chicken breasts and two helpings of green beans I just ate for lunch today, I think that I am destined to meet my target.